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|Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006|
Well, it's been a quite awhile, but after some inspiration from Hannah (the goddess of symetry) I've decided to update my journal.
Right now, I've been reflecting on my plans, my wants, my needs, and everything that has happened in the last two years...and I find myself in a dilemma.
In first year, I was a humanities student who aspired to be an english major. When I decided I could get a decent income, some pensions, and a back-up job incase my future aspirations didn't work out, I decided to go into education.
From that point, I had to chose a second discipline to teach in other than English, and my first thought was theatre. I was eager to transfer to fine arts and get my degree finished as soon as possible.
But, like most things in life, it was not as easy or as satisfying as I originally anticipated. No big deal, I don't like to complain, and I know that I've been given so many opportunities that it's about time I had some challenges. But now, a few things have come to my mind that have caused me to reconsider this whole plan.
For one, Uvic itself. I like the campus, but I've been greatly mislead by a poor information providers concerning my degree. For example, I took a course last year that was an intro to theatre history, and when I asked my professor about who I should go to for info on transfering faculties, he gave me the name of an advisor and her office number. The information provided by her (and the uvic website) confirmed that I would have to enter the acting department to be able to teach (no exceptions) and that the credit from the course I was taking would count towards my degree(I wouldn't have to take it again).
So as a result, I volunteered at the theatre in order to get in good terms with the department and earn a reference. They asked me if I was free on evenings, then scheduled me for 6 day-a-week attendance that I could not step out of once I started (four hour shifts during the week, eight hour shifts on saturday).In order to get into the acting department, you need to construct an audition video and submit it with questions, etc. I aqcuired the equipment to do so, took time of studying to remember and perfect my monologue, and edited it. This also took time away from studying for exams, but It was nescary for my degree.
For an english major, which I was at the time, this was a horrendous amount of time lost that I greatly needed for studying and writing, but I knew it would help me in the future. Unfortunately, my grades suffered greatly as a result. If you finish class in the afternoon, four hours taken away from your work time is detrimental.
When I barely got accepted into acting, several blocks of TRUE information fell in my lap. First, not only could acting be taken by general theatre students (those that dont audition), it was mandatory for all theatre students, bar-none. This really disturbed me; even if you are in first year acting, you have to re-audition for second year, and only 12 students are chosen for second year (out of 70+). If I could take first year acting without any audition, WHY AUDITION? Secondly, the site and the woman were wrong. I did not need to go into acting in the first place to teach. Instead, I had to go into applied theatre (why they did not tell me this when I asked, I have no idea). Since the acting class in second year was so small, I was going to transfer into acting in another university with a larger faculty, but there was no need to do so anymore. The volunteer hours, the time spent on the tape, plus my significant drop in GPA were worth nothing.
Since I was starting first year theatre in second year, I wanted to save time on completeing my degree. I trusted the uvic site(which I will never trust again), because it stated that the course I took in first year would transfer with me, and that I could skip first year theatre history (credit will only be given to one). However, when I talked to an advisor, she told me the opposite, I had to take it. That means my first year theatre class was worthless too, making almost everything I did to prepare me for theatre pointless.
Anyways, I suppose it was my fault for going to the school and trusting the advice of their staff and website. But at least i'm in theatre, and hopefully this will work out.
Though now, after all this wasted work, I'm reconsidering theatre, and possibly my whole plan to go into education. I've always known that i have a strange ethic of conduct; I have working-issues in social environments, and I have social issues in working-environments. In other words, away from school or work, I can't focus. When i'm at class or work, I don't really want to socialize.
Because of this, I feel slightly alienated in the theatre crowd. I'm a strange guy, but theatre students are such a rare breed, that they appear even more eccentric and energetic than I am. For the first time ever, I feel like the normal guy with no personality. They're nice and I'm nice to them, but I think we're on a slightly different wave-length.
I've also been feeling discontented with what I'm doing right now, like it's a waste of time. My plan with education was work during the day (8-3:30, weekdays) and pay for my own education at technical school, at night. I wanted to pay for a second education; to learn advanced film editing and become an editor. From there, I get experience, meet people in the business, and step into film direction. But now, I as I study for theatre and english, I feel hollow. I haven't made a movie or contributed to one in over two years, and that's whats missing. It was something I loved, and something that people said I had a thing for. Whenever I'd start filmaking again after a break, I'd forget why I stopped in the first place, and feel re-energized.
Education sounds like something I can do, and it would work out great as far as employment goes, but I never truly thought about it...Do I really want to be a teacher? Was that my aspiration since grade 9? It wasn't my aspiration, and i'm not really sure if I want to anymore. To tell you the truth, I found education to be flawed and uninteresting while I was growing up. Is that going to change when I'm the one whose teaching it? Will I actually enjoy teaching? I don't know, I think I will, but i'm not incredibly excited to do it (other than the fact that it could help me pay for my film education).
I'm only in first term, second year. How long are my parents going to support my education? and also, how long does it take to gain the training in professional editing? In technical institutes, I think you can get it done way faster. If I transferred asap, could I step out of technical school with proper training in 3.5 years? I'm not sure, but it seems probable.
Better yet, I could become an apprentice on film sets (my sister told me that she knows tons of places where I could volunteer for awhile and possibley open up a job). Why wait for my dreams when I can do it now? What's stopping me?
Even if my parents decided not to fund me, there's student loans. I may not become a director, but an editor still makes a decent living, I love it, and it's one of the few things I can work on mercilessly without loosing focus. I need to build a work portfolio, and while i'm studying english and theatre, I dont have the time to make amateur film projects. If I start now, the better chance I have at succeeding. I gotta start gathering info on film institues, their tuition, their requirements, and the job market. And I gotta sleep on it. This change of direction might be what I need. Current Mood: confused
|Monday, April 3rd, 2006|
For my entire life up until recently, I thought that every awkward, overly quiet, or dead conversation between me and another individual was always a result of my social ineptitude or awkwardness in some way. However, I realized something important. There are two people in a conversation, and one can't be held "accountable" for the fact that there is no dialogue. From my recent studies, there are far more types of social ineptitude/awkwardness than your average shy guy or wierdo (I, falling into the latter category). To a degree, every awkward moment in a social scenario is caused by two different types of social ineptitdue colliding with another.
A few nights ago I was sitting down alone for dinner in the caf. A guy I met recently while volunteering named tully, who is usually quite talkative, walked by and said hi. He looked around, couldn't see anyone he knew (kinda like I did) and sat down next to me. We exchanged few words, interrupted by 30sec-1min periods of complete silence, and the tone was obviously akward. No matter what I said, I couldn't make conversation with him, and I felt like he was judging me. However, I realized that I was the only person to ever break the silence, and he would only respond to whatever I said, but never bring the conversation anywhere. If we were both trying to make conversation, he would try to say something if I decided to say nothing. however, the second I stopped ,we had two people who had stopped talking and decided to eat food instead.
Now, how is this two types of akwardness? well, I'm akward because I don't make good first impressions (don't try to convince me otherwise, I've been told by too many people), so I can't develop that level of comfort with alot of people where talking doesn't sound forced and inhibited, mostly because they wont let me get to that level with them (at least for a long time). Tully seems like a really sociable guy with no real odd quirks, and tons of cool friends. However, I'd classify him as a different kind of akward. The popular kids you see at school are akward because (and this I've never been able to understand) people can be "scared" or "creeped out" by a person who is simple wierd. Or, they simply cannot talk to someone who isn't sociable and cool. Ok, if a wierd person threatens to kill me, i'll be scared. However, there's nothing creepy about someone who doesn't fit in. I used to think these "popular" people had excellent social skills, but actually, they just get along better with people who are just as talkative and acceptable as them. They're akward because they can't converse with someone who is wierd, whereas someone like me, can. When I look back at high school, I remember befriending some pretty "strange" people who were alienated, even though all they ever did was try to be nice.
Many will disagree, but i've come to the conclusion that EVERYONE, yes, EVERYONE has a good side, and is essentially a "good" person if you get past that wall. Circumstances effect this, but still, everyone i've met is a "good guy once you get to know them". I feel that outgoing and popular people are incredibly akward and should have pity taken on them, since they fail at the modest task of talking to someone different, and pre-emptively judging many individuals. Seriously, maybe it's just me, But I DON'T MAKE FIRST IMPRESSIONS because my impression of every single person that I've had any social relationship with has developed and changed since the instant(keyword being instant) I've met them. This isn't a view i've adopted, i'm just like this whether I try to or not. I won't trust a first impression, and I haven't trusted a first impression. When I meet somone I don't like, I can only think about how so many people....soooooo many people have made the most ridiculous, overdrawn, and completely ignorant assumptions about me, and how all of their opinions changed once they knew me for longer.
With the end of my first year at uvic approaching, I've realized that i've changed quite a bit, at least on the inside. I've realized that due to my nature (when I choose not to hide it), I'm the one who makes all the effort trying to become friends with someone. Almost every friend I've made in my building came from ME calling them, swinging by their room, and taking the effort to socialize with them until we develop a "friendship", and not the other way around. I used to blame myself, and I used to feel like I was so hopeless and socially inept, but that's not true. The world is full of so much ignorance, hypocrisy, overreaction, denial, and inflated egotism that I seriously want to yell out "Fuck the world" over a 70 story building while engulfing my self in flames and decending towards the metropolitan streets below. But i'm too smart for that, at least for now. How can I be akward when I can talk to some of the most troubled people with empathy and without judjement? (If you think i'm flattering myself, remember jon deconto. I was his only friend, and really, if he had more, he wouldn't have seemed as wierd for always following me). No, I really think that akwardness isn't caused by one quote un-quote looser, but a strange person and someone who is too ignorant,in a sense, to accept and handle it.
(Note: this dialogue is null and void when being applied to relationship dialogues. If somone is akward when they are talking to their boyfriend who cheated on them, no one is to be blamed except that promiscuous son of a bitch.) Current Mood: expressive
|Sunday, December 25th, 2005|
I just got demon days by Gorillaz.
It kicks ass.
|Tuesday, December 6th, 2005|
|Clear sailing from here...
Well, after an hour an a half of sleep, I woke up and finished my History exam, FINALLY. This bitch has been destroying me and draining all the pleasure out of the week. My inclass essay was a total piece though.
Anyways, I got two of my essays back from my history professor. Strangely enough, the one that I found very easy to write about and thought was the waaaay better essay got the same letter grade as the one that had only 2 sources, and a 20% deduction for handing in late (I had writers block).
Interestingly enough, Lloyd (who I hear has blonde highlights now...right kaitlyn?) was always telling us that we'd be lamb souvlaki if we didn't have proper format on essays in University. Since my new laptop only had wordpad, I couldn't properly reference my sources, so I consulted the official history style guide (I know, they actually have one) and it said I just have to put it in brackets. Well, my teacher penalized me for my lack of style, and told me to consult the guide. pssh...what does he know. At least I proved him wrong in person, infront of a colleague.
Also funny...this has never happened to me. He also thought that one part of my essay sounded like plagarism. I used the term "triumphant theologians" and he underlined it and wrote:
"This sounds like a quote. If so, where is the foot note?"
heheheheh....well, I got C on both of em, but at least it's over. for now.
In the meantime, I'm gonna party it up! Then crucify english. Then come back to Vancity, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. I just hope that my friends at JO are gonna get off soon too. Current Mood: accomplished
|Saturday, December 3rd, 2005|
Hath god no pity for those who study Canadian History? This class is really getting to me. The only reason I am taking it is because I need it for the faculty of education, and it is beyond my mental capacity to understand why any patriotic Canadian would want to take this course again after 5 years of abuse in High school. Though I admit, it is somewhat better than before (our first assignment was NOT to colour a map of canada, and the class is more honest about brutal events), It is begining to drive me insane.
The exam is on tuesday and I have so much material to cover that I'd have to mutate into a translucent, gelatinous sack of flesh just to absorb some of it. The saddest part is that the most interesting segment of our history was the American revolution...which occured mostly in america. Dammit, why didn't we get into a war with every single major country like they did? then I could pay attention.
Speaking of which...how many countries has america fought with? let me think:
-England (american revolution)
-French (Invasion of Acadia)
-Iraq (war in Iraq)
-Mexico (The alamo)
And i'm sure there's a helluva lot more. what did we do? trade fur, screw up the native population, and build a train track.
Anyways, back to studying : ( Current Mood: le tired
|Thursday, November 24th, 2005|
|Just one of those nights
I think it's a pretty common scenario. An individual works non-stop for a day, gets incredibly exhausted, and once they lie in bed, they're completely awake. I thought i'd give up on sleep for now and get some work done. Fortunately for me, all I have left to do this term is study for exams. Not to mention, I only have two of them, and they're both in the first week, so I'll have a really long break. The downside: For my other three classes, my final Test is next week. So I guess it's cram time.
Anyways, life at Vic aint too bad. I'm really looking forward to the break though. I'm going up to whistler (I know! I never would have thought so either!) for new years, but I can bring a few people. Better yet, Jeff is going to be working up there, and if I can convince him to stay there for new years, even more of our friends could stay at his place. which means I can actually snowboard with friends up there. Whistler is pretty cool, but if you have no friends who ever go there or live there, snowboarding alone gets redundant.
Recently, I've been feeling kinda strange. It's like nothings wrong and I feel pretty good, but I also feel like there's something missing. Can't really put my finger on it...It could be the lack of a significant other. It could also be the fact that I'm starting to get confused about what I should work towards in University. Originally, it was the faculty of education, but that might not work out. I've been considering heading into more film studies, and specifically, editing. I've always loved it, and it's my personal opinion that I can't leave university without learning something that'll be of value in the occupational world (that I wouldn't have otherwise). Not only that, but starting as an editor could be a good step into directing, given how I'd probably get to meet alot of people in the industry and make contacts.
Well, I gotta go to class in the in less than five hours, so I better re-attempt to catch some Z's. And to those who read this, I miss you all. I mean it ; ) Current Mood: awake
|Wednesday, October 19th, 2005|
Well, fortunately, everything has been settled between me and Zainub. She admitted that she'd been a little harsh on me, and I admited that since they only overheard a really small part of the conversation, there's a chance that they heard correctly and I just forgot what I had said (though I don't think this is the case). Anyways, s'all good now.
However, as soon as that was solved, I've just been struck with possibly the worst sore throats I've ever had (I cringe and shake every time I swallow). I'm also incredibly naucious and I've been having terrible headaches. I haven't felt this bad in quite awhile. What makes things worse is that I have to drag myself out of bed to write a history essay on the relationship between the settlers of New France and the First Nations, and it's due friday morning.
I haven't had writers block this bad in awhile, and I think a contributing factor is that We need 16 references and everyone in my class in way older than me (which means the standard of marking is probably sky high).
Ah well, Since I can hardly leave my bed, I guess I can spend the next 48 hours pinning over this paper.
Other than the damn virus, I'm doing pretty good. I saw a play last night called "Accidental death of an Anarchist" which I have to write a critique for. It was pretty good methinks. Current Mood: sick
|Sunday, October 16th, 2005|
I've never found it easy to hate someone. Logically, you can always find a reason for someone's actions and just let them go. Talk face to face, don't skirt the subject, don't play games. honest confrontation can solve anything, as long as both sides are willing to listen and look forward.
When I meet someone, no matter how strange or unfriendly they may be, I have no choice but to reserve my judgement. This is probably because they've already judged me, rejected me as a person, and treat me like they couldn't care less. I can't do this, but it seems like a whole slew of people already do. They reject people for who they are, not what they do, and that seems completely arrogant. If I don't like someone on first impression, I wait until I actually KNOW them before I decide that I hate them.
It's almost as if half the people that populate the world don't want friends. They want nice people to introduce themselves to them, just so they can make their judgement. They want people to impress them until their standards deem them worthy of recognition. Grow up, get your fucking act together. let go of your pride and pay people the respect they deserve.
Jonah and I were having a discussion a few nights ago about personal issues concerning our friends and family in Vancouver. Some drunk girl who was eavesdropping on our conversation claims that she heard jonah insult her. Then she called my friend Elliot, and got him to eavesdrop too. They all got pissed off at Jonah, claiming he said shit about them, even though he was the only sober person there. Two days later, the story changes. Apparently, I was the one who was dissing the crowd instead. Now some girls from the floor above hate me for stuff I didn't say, and one of my oldest friends trusts a drunk girl he just met who was eavesdropping on a conversation that she had NO RIGHT to be listening to, over my word. Calls me a liar.
Now, how come I feel like I need to come out and fix this whole mess. I have to pull things together, I have to be the small man, step down, apologize, loose rep, and make it up to them. Why am I the bad guy? First of all, they're hardly listening to us or giving us a chance. Second of all, spying on people is pretty dispicable. By all means, I should be mad at them, but I'm not. I'm just dissappointed and dumbfounded by the overwhelming ignorance and superficiality that surrounds me. I'm not angry because I'm logical. It's a misunderstanding, she was drunk, yatta yatta yatta. Why does she have such a will not to make amends? More importantly, why does one of my oldest friends trust the testimony of a drunk girl who changed her story twice and was eavesdropping on a private conversation instead of me? The whole world is in love with the sound of their own voice so much that their pride renders them blind from the injustices they cause to themselves and others. It makes me sick.
I'm gonna talk to her today and settle this whole thing, but if she acts unreasonable, or pins it on me, or lets her pride get in the way of honest reasoning, fuck it, I'll hate her for a good cause. Current Mood: contemplative
|Thursday, April 28th, 2005|
Every man has his breaking point. That's it. I've had enough of this bullcrap. I have drawn an incredibly valid and tested theory about my romantic life.
No woman is capable of loving me. plain and simple.
Maybe i'm being too pessimistic, but believe me, i'm not incredibly happy right now. Up until about a week ago, I was perfectly fine with my relationship with Courtney. Neither of us taked it too seriously, which was a good thing, given how our social circles are completely different, both in people and in interest. Plus she lives out on victoria drive, so it was hard to organize things at times. But, as long as we did something every weekend and talked often it was all good. We managed to have a relationship without many issues, without neglecting any of our friends.
But recently, I've started realizing something. I'm the one calling her 95% of the time (and It's not like I call an incredible amount either). At school, I'm always coming to her, finding her, or spending time with her on my will. all she does is sit down and watch me come to her. There has only been one time that she actually came to me at school while we've been dating. She has made no effort to arrange anything between us. Whenever we do something, it's because I make it happen. I have opened up to her and have become more casual, but she still hasn't really opened up to me yet. sure, she's become more comfortable with me, but not that much.
She's been working like mad to get her art portfolio done, and I know that she's been busy, but we havn't done anything together for awhile. What concerns me, is that she hasn't even shown any concern about that at all. I have, but she hasn't! She doesn't even respect the fact that I was trying to make time for us too, nor did she really co-operate.
It's become such an obligation dating her too. I find myself in a position where I'm forcing myself to find her, talk to her, and do whatever. although she never extends the same courtesy. Today really was a turning point for me.
Today, I was trying to talk to her, and it's not like she'd give me one word answers. she'd respond, but then that's it. She's probably become so used to me doing all the work, it's like we're having an interview instead of a conversation. She hardly even looked at me today. seriously, I think i'm hurt. This isn't funny, she's screwing with my emotions. I swear that she was talking to all of her friends and any other guy that talked to her more than me. I'm probably her fucking embarrasment or something.
anyways, I saw her after my mock english exam(which was damn easy, but i'm too pissed off to celebrate) and it really hit me. It seemed like she was secretly mad at me. This is driving me insane.
If, and only If, for arguements sake, she was mad at me...why? what the hell have I done that's not "satisfactory" for her ridiculous standards? Do I care about the relationship too much? I've become so much more distant, but It's still me who's keeping this thing together. Am I being selfish? well, what has she done for me? nothing.
why the hell does this happen to me? Rebbeca was even worse, but still Courtney has completely neglected me and I feel completely used. as usual. strangely enough, the both live on Victoria drive. so yeah, I highly suggest that you don't cruise around that area trying to pick up women.
I made up the decision recently. I wasn't looking forward to it. Nothing was really wrong about the relationship, but nothing was right either, and the fact that we're completely different is starting to show. I decided that I was going to break up with her after prom. And I wasn't going to look forward to it.
But, even more recently, I've changed my mind. Today, I feel like I can't wait to break up wither her. Literally. I feel like I can't wait until prom. I honestly think that she'd rather sketch a horse than utter one god damn word in my direction.
Whatever. what can I expect. It's just the way things are. I respect women. I definitely give them their space, but I still remain dedicated. I am honest to them. I genuinely care about them. I WANT to be there for them.
But all they want to do is rip my fucking heart out and laugh at me for having enough confidence to show them that I care. And here I always thought that a girl would like a boyfriend who was attentive and respectful. well, that's bullshit. I honestly think that women don't know what they want.
Dammit Courtney, I care for you. do you care, at all?
I didn't think so. Current Mood: Pissed off
|Thursday, March 31st, 2005|
Bah! The waiting game sucks!
LET'S PLAY HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS! :D Current Mood: energetic
I swear, my girlfriend just popped some Aryian pills. I saw her today for the first time since we both left during the break, and now she is completely blonde with blue eyes. Dirty blonde to blonde, I can fathom. But how do green eyes turn blue!? though this concept is alien and foreign to me, I still like the change.
I've been hopelessly playing phone tag with my personal trainer for the last week or so. At this rate, I'll always be festivly plump.
I was also practicing the bass today, and Justin was using the computer in the same room. He was listening to music and playing cs and stuff, and he wanted me to turn down my bass HELLA. Ok, maybe me and Li practice loud, but that's what rock is all about. I had my amp at less than two, and my bass nob wasn't even full, and he was still moaning about volume. COME ON. A solid Three isn't gonna tear the room apart. When I suggested that he put on the computer headphones so he could listen to his incredibly quiet music a little bit louder, he didn't even respond. Ok, maybe you listen to your music at 5 decibals. Dont seperate a testosterone fueled teen from his bass just because he's playing louder than the sound of a microwave. Bah! I'm pathetic. Rock is about sticking it to the man!
At times, I wish I could get mad at my brother. It gets annoying, because some people mistake my kindness as weakness. a VERY common mis-conception in the world of Christopher Brown. Believe me, I'm not afraid to blow up at him. I find it very difficult to resist at times. It's just that given his emotional status right now, I would be killing him. So for now, I have to put up with the many hypocracies, rantings, demands, manorisms, and whatnot with a smile.
Anyways, I had the perfect sleep last night. making today awesome. anyways, I'm gonna stay up late and do whatever to celebrate. Self-application of grades is pretty much done. Now I shall play the waiting game. Current Mood: contemplative
|Sunday, March 6th, 2005|
I hate Future shop.
Let me repeat that.
I FUCKING HATE FUTURE SHOP!
Ok ok, so it's my birthday today, and i'm 18, so as usual I get a present from my parents. Yesterday we headed to future shop to buy a graphics card for my computer. First we show up and we realize that there are two different ports for a graphics card, and since we don't know what the inside of our computer looks like, we have to go home and bring the computer there. an hour later we show up, and buy the card, and pay about 50 dollars more so they can install the card and the software required to run it. two hours later, I come back again to pick up the computer, and they tell me that they upgraded the computer-monitor connection and the new chord for it is in the box that they sold me. on the way out, I set off the alarm because they forgot to tell me that I needed the reciept I gave them to get clearance out of the shop. They give me my reciept and I leave. I get home and the new chord that was supposed to be in the box...wasn't. The next day I go to future shop AGAIN, get the chord, and come home. Finally, I can start up my computer. Once I do, I get a prompt that tells me that some multimedia program was installed incorrectly, and I need to re-install it. way to blow 50 fucking dollars. Then I call them up and they walk me through the re-installation process. I re-install it and no errors occur, until I run a program that used to work on my computer, and in crashes 4 times in a row. I call them back, and they tell me to bring the computer back to future shop AGAIN
By the time this is done, i'll have revisted future shop 5 times. Also, if these guys are computer experts, WHY do they need 50 dollars to fail at installing a program that I was able to do myself. If they're so reliable, why can't they put a fucking chord in a box in exchange for a shitload of money? If they are experienced workers, why did they forget to give me my recipt so I wouldn't set off the alarm? If they have a service and a section for hardware and software installation, why didn't they discover that it was installed incorrectly? (seeing how a huge ass window opened up as soon as my computer started and told me so)
I am surrounded by retards. Current Mood: pissed off
|Thursday, February 3rd, 2005|
|Why you little...
Funny story. Around 6 o'clock today, my brother finally got out of bed. He came to the computer room and asked, "So Kit, How much homework do you have tonight?". I responded, "hmm, Well, I have a little bit of english. Oh Justin, when are you gonna be done using the car tonight?" he asks, "Why?" I say, "Well, I might grab coffee with Russell."
Then he chuckles a bit. I ask "What?". He says (in a sassy mocking tone) "Kit, You're such a slacker."
heheheh, Justin, you're such a fucking hypocrite. It's 6 o'clock and I haven't done my english homework. boo-frikkin hoo. At least I rolled out of bed 11 hours before you did. In that amount of time, I could make waffles, eat them, paint a self-portrait, write a short story, find my remaining waffle batter and go in for seconds. What a diligent and hardworking man you must be! who's the slacker here justin?
How come you never found summer empolyment but I did? Who's the 21 year old who's taking a year long break from University? Who's the one who finds it unfair to walk the dog or do the dishes once a day for his parents who support him while he stays at home unemployed? Who's the one who doesn't exercise? Who's the one who said he could wake up early to go to whistler last weekend, and when his brother knocked on his door, fully packed and clothed and ready, he was still sleeping, and ended up staying at home?
But then again, not having my homework done by 6 0'clock is quite a mouthful. I don't think i'm one to talk! seriously! Current Mood: pissed off
|Tuesday, February 1st, 2005|
Grad Auction was awesome. I had to enjoy it because it was one of those days were all the compliments fly towards you from all directions for the rest of the day. Everyone was telling me how awesome my act was! :D
But then again, Chris Hildreth didn't do an act, but he sold for $100. Technically, I'm worth 1/20th of hildreth. but whatever, I volunteered to go first, and of course if you go later the bids will get higher. I mean, Sarah and Jackie were sold for way more than the two jessicas. And Landry + Zenin were sold for way more than Jamie, Chase, and Carson combined. So meh, I won't take it personally because I'm mr.Brightside!
and everyone told me my act was the best, so I still feel like a winner. a $5 human being :D Current Mood: satisfied
|Wednesday, January 26th, 2005|
At first...I didn't know if it'd work. Courtney and I. I mean, we both liked eachother and such, but is that really enough? anyways, my doubts were put out today. We went out for dinner at Bridges, then we walked around granville island right by the water. She's so many leagues infront of Rebecca, It's ridiculous! Seriously, Courtney is at least Rebecca x 6. I'm starting to feel really good about this. I'm starting to feel really good about her. I'm starting to feel really good. Current Mood: satisfied
|Monday, January 24th, 2005|
Doesn't it bug you when someone writes something really vague on their livejournal to vent, and you have no idea about the details as to what's wrong because the person writes just enough to make you know that something is provoking them? anyways, on a completely differen subject,
I used to think that I knew the definition of hypocrisy. After hearing about what you've done, I discovered that it was only the tip of the iceberg.
woah..that was surprisingly hypocritical. well, about my day. I showed up late for math, slept during english, goal-tended during gym, and watched a movie during history. When I came home, I went for a jog and realised something. It is much, much harder to tire yourself when you are really angry. I took full advantage of that and took a hella long run. Anyways, after that I had grad photos, which actually didn't take long at all. My only regret is that I didn't know that friend pictures were free...well, if anyone still has to get their grad photos, i'm going with them. I had some decent pictures. I actually managed to show some teeth while smiling WITHOUT looking like a retard! It was difficult though. and finally, I came home tonight and recieved a letter from point grey. I MADE THE HONOUR ROLL! yesssssssssssssss...My parents can stop bitching at me! ha ha! and since tommorow isn't a schoolnight, Me and Courtney are going on another date. So despite my bitterness, life is sweet. Current Mood: surprised
|Wednesday, January 19th, 2005|
Yesterday in English, I was quite bored. But then, My eyes had the pleasure to behold a beauty so radiant....so pure...sitting in the desk to my right. So I felt my inspiration to write the piece. whether it is a piece of Art, or a piece of Shit, is up to you.
Sonnet 1 (To the White Lady)
Shall I compare thee to a crappy winter day?
Thou art pretty much the opposite.
Though one be bitter, thou is hot as May
My love is ferocious, But thy heart gives no shit
Thy eyebrows are as soft as snow,
Yet your embrace makes more than winter housing,
And though the winters come and go,
My White Lady, year-round, remains arousing
A kiss from the would make me new,
Yet a kiss from the cold is sharp and thorny
No word could describe my lust for you,
Actually, that's crap. The word is 'Horny'
Like snow longs to cover they Summer's warm grass,
Is uncanny to how I'd tap your.....uh, front door. ^_^
|Monday, January 10th, 2005|
The computer is out of justin's room.
oh man...oh man this is too damn good. You don't know how much crap I have to put up with in that place...now I can please you all by updating more often!
Anyways, Jay is gone now...There goes the greatest man who ever lived. seriously, he is the nicest guy ever. I think that he is pretty much the most sensitive, generous, non-superficial person who ever lived. And now he's at shaunagon (or however you spell the place). This offers four major problems already. One...the point grey battle of the bands is coming, so he can only come back to practice with us once every two weeks....this might prove to be hazardous. second, I started filming an action sequence at his house for keith...and now It'll be really hard to finish. Third, Rachael will have no one to drive her everywhere, so she'll probably enslave me as of now. And fourth...I'll miss him so much.
On other news, I'm in a titch of a dilemma. I really liked Courtney...and as of recently, She's started to like me back. But as soon as she did, I started to find myself attracted to someone else. Someone I think I'm capable of getting. The problem is, I still like Courtney and I don't want to hurt her, and I know that if I go off and try for someone else now, it'll hurt her confidence. But I can't date Courtney and not be honest to my feelings. I mean, I still like her, but I think I get along with this girl better, and I think I like her more. What do I do now...
Anyways, with Jay leaving and this dilemma aside, i'm still in a pretty good mood. The two hour 24 season premiere started last night, so my life will never be the same. AND there's another two hour episode tonight. and once again,
The computer is out of Justin's room. LET THE EDITING BEGIN! *GONG* Current Mood: cheerful
|Friday, January 7th, 2005|
One thing I've never been afraid of for my enitre life is indecisivness...until now. I used to make a decision and follow it, but now I find myself shouting out mixed messages, changing my mind constantly, and deliberately putting things off. I need to sit down and think about things for a bit.
Anyways, I've discovered the Rolling Stones. Ever since I got their double album for christmas, I've become addicted. If anyone wants the album, i'll lend it out.
And now for something completely different.
Ever since i've become friends will Alli, I want to be gothic. Seriously, it would be awesome. Think about it. When you're gothic, you can be pissed off whenever you want! And even though you may be different and isolated, people know that you did it on your own will, instead of being rejected to that status. And besides, I hate people, I think the world is superficial, and I have severe emotional issues which I hide behind a fucking smile every day. I could really go for that right now.
High bloodsugar is a bitch. Current Mood: pissed off
|Thursday, December 2nd, 2004|
|Can we say, AWESOME DAY?
OH MAN....OH FUCK YES!
after finally finding out that it was black top cabs that drove me home on saturday night, I contacted a temporary lost and found line. Though they couldn't physically check, I told them a description of my cabbie, and the time they picked me up. A "video camera in a case" was recovered saturday night. CHA CHING!
HELLY YEAH! w00000000000000000000000000000000t! HAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAH
fuck yeah! This is exactly what I needed to hear!
of course, there is a possibility that someone else lost a camera case saturday night who had the exact same cabbie description as me, but who gives a shit! DONT YOU DARE RAIN ON MY FUCKING PARADE!
!!!!!!! Current Mood: crazy